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Oct 14

BOOB MONTH: Celebrities Who Have Undergone Breast Reduction

Why?! Why would someone do such a thing? It pains me to know that there are women out there who don’t love their bodies, because we would happily love their bodies for them. As far as we are concerned, the breasts are the window into the soul and should be worshiped for their beauty and feared for their power. Unfortunately, the fairer sex doesn’t see things as gloriously as we do, so we’re faced with the atrocity known as breast reduction (read: soul crusher). It brings a tear to our eyes having to bring this up during Boob Month, but we feel we must. See who crushed our spirit, one cup size at a time…

Janeane Garofalo

The once juggy 36D comedian felt that her male audience would have a hard time focusing on what she had to say with her big boobs stealing the show. We ask… “What male audience?” At only 5’1”, that’s quite the chest. She selfishly decided to go all the way down to a B cup. Thanks, Janeane. Thanks… Take away the only reason that anyone would pretend to listen to your political bellyaching.

Soleil Moon Frye

This one we can forgive… kinda. She suffered from hypertrophy of the breast, which is basically a disease (read: blessing) that makes your breasts swell to biblical proportions. Here’s an example: she once had 38DD breasts… at just 15 years old! Yeah, that could be an issue. She had them reduced to a respectable 36C and has never looked back. We however, wonder what might have been.

Drew Barrymore

Drew Barrymore battled with her insecurities for a long time. She struggled (needlessly) with the thought of her own body for years. At just 16 years old she went in for a breast reduction. She is since more confident and finally feels comfortable in her own clothes. Well, good for you.

Simona Halep

The aggressive Romanian tennis player found that big breasts made doing shit difficult, like running and hitting shit. In an effort to be more competitive, she pondered the thought of breast reduction surgery. Despite a petition from her male fans to forsake the thought, she took her 34DD anchors down to a more aerodynamic 34C. Well, we hope that your sacrifice to OUR happiness was not in vain.

Loni Anderson

Son of a bitch! You know something? We’re starting to get pissed off here! Loni Anderson had a TREMENDOUS body (she still does), and the fact that she got a reduction before we were born is inconsequential. She also started developing at a young age and was confused by the attention. She got her tit-exorcism when she was 26 years old.

Unconfirmed

Jennifer Connelly

This is a crying shame. Apparently just before filming Hulk, she was suffering from stress and depression and subsequently lost a lot of weight. She came under fire with rumors of breast reduction surgery, but the rumors were quelled by her manager, citing the alleged stress as the factor. He goes on to say that she has gained the weight back and you can see that they are returning to their original form. Well sir, they’re there… but they somehow are not the same.

Christina Ricci

Seriously, what the fuck is going on?! I’ve personally been in love with that woman since I first saw her as Wednesday Addams (she’s actually a year older than me, so it’s not gross) and I notice that those things seem to go up and down as much as the frigging sun! We don’t believe the rumors, but we’re also willing to believe or do anything she says, so technically, we’re not a reliable source.

• • • •

This was a light-hearted post with a serious purpose. Approximately 40,000 women die per year of breast cancer.
Foundations make strides every year but many women out there still need your help.
Every donations helps and none are too small – a little goes a long way.
You can help by clicking the link below. Susan G. Komen for the Cure is a well respected, reputable foundation that helps women all over the country. If at all possible, help by making a donation today.

Make a Donation

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Author: J.Choad
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